Your own AI Chief of Staff, running on hardware you own, designed around how you actually work. Set up in 48 hours. No technical ability required. A full-time EA costs $150,000/year. This costs $9,999 once.
Real workflows. Running right now. For CEOs like you.
Every morning at 7am, your AI reads every email across all your accounts, summarizes your Slack, preps your calendar, and tells you what needs attention. Before your first coffee.
Last Tuesday, mine flagged a client email that had been sitting unanswered for 3 days, a calendar conflict I hadn't noticed, and a Slack thread where my COO was waiting on me. All before 7:15am.
Your AI monitors your inbox, CRM, and conversations for deal signals. It preps meeting briefs, tracks follow-ups, and flags when relationships go cold. Nothing falls through the cracks.
Before my call with a potential acquisition target last week, my AI pulled together their LinkedIn profiles, recent press mentions, our entire email history, and three competitive threats I should raise. The brief was in my inbox 20 minutes before the call.
Turn one meeting transcript into 10 LinkedIn posts, 5 tweets, and a newsletter draft. Your AI writes in your voice because it's learned from months of your actual writing.
I recorded a 20-minute voice memo about supply chain challenges. By lunch, I had 8 LinkedIn posts, a Twitter thread, and a newsletter draft. All in my voice. My marketing team couldn't tell which ones I wrote and which ones the AI wrote.
Every promise you make in meetings gets logged automatically. Every commitment someone makes to you gets tracked. Your AI follows up so you don't have to.
In a board call last week, three people committed to deliverables. My AI logged all three, set follow-up dates, and pinged me when one was 2 days overdue. I never would have caught it. Now nothing slips.
Your AI triages 5 email accounts, drafts responses, flags urgent items, and files the rest. You review and send. What took 2 hours now takes 15 minutes.
I have 5 email accounts across 3 companies. My AI triages all of them every morning, drafts replies for the routine stuff, and surfaces the 8-10 messages that actually need my brain. Yesterday it handled 127 emails. I touched 9.
Ask your AI to research a company, a person, a market. It searches the web, reads documents, and delivers a briefing. In minutes, not days.
I asked it to research a potential acquisition target. In 12 minutes, I had their financials, key personnel, recent press, and a competitive landscape summary. The kind of work that used to take an analyst two days.
Every week without this is 15+ hours you'll never get back.
GET STARTED →Do the math. Then decide.
*If your time is worth $500/hour and you spend 15 hours/week on tasks AI can handle, that's $7,500/week in lost CEO leverage. $390,000/year. Desk Theory pays for itself in less than 2 weeks.
Book a free 15-minute call. Andrew will audit your current workflow and show you exactly where AI would save you the most time. No pitch. No pressure.
BOOK FREE AI AUDIT →We onboard 5 clients per month. Andrew personally designs every system.
Currently accepting clients for March 2026
✓ 24/7 system monitoring
✓ Weekly workflow optimization
✓ Priority support (4-hour response)
✓ New automation and integration builds
✓ Monthly performance reviews
If your AI isn't saving you 10+ hours in the first 30 days, email me and I'll refund $9,000. You keep the hardware, you keep the setup. The only thing you're risking is the cost of the Mac Mini. That's how confident I am this works.
I'm Andrew Lissimore. I run Headphones.com (the world's largest specialty headphone retailer) and Lantern (a venture-backed SaaS company). I built this system for myself first because I was drowning in email, Slack, and meetings across multiple companies.
Now my AI handles the noise so I can focus on what actually moves the needle.
I built this because I needed it. Running multiple companies with ADHD means my brain generates ideas at 100mph but loses track of commitments just as fast. I needed a system that would remember everything, follow up on everything, and never let things slip. That's what this is.
The magic is in designing high-leverage workflows for CEOs specifically. Not generic chatbot stuff. Real systems that save you hours every day. Desk Theory is me packaging what works and setting it up for you.
Runs on a Mac Mini you own. Sits in your office. Your data never leaves your building. Period.
Built by a CEO running multiple companies. Not a developer's side project. Every workflow is battle-tested.
From purchase to fully operational. No learning curve. No technical skills required. Just plug it in.
This isn't incremental improvement. CEOs using AI effectively aren't just saving time. They're operating at a completely different level.
Because your data should stay in your building. Not someone else's server farm.
It sits on your desk (or in your closet). Unlike cloud AI tools, nothing leaves your network unless you tell it to. Your emails, messages, and files stay in your building.
The Mac Mini M4 is smaller than a sandwich and dead silent. But it's powerful enough to run multiple AI agents 24/7 without breaking a sweat.
No subscription to some server farm. If you cancel support, you still have a fully working AI system. The hardware is yours. The data is yours. Forever.
This is the exact same setup Andrew runs for his own companies. Not a theoretical product. A real system, running in production, every single day.
Tell us about your business and how you work. We'll hop on a 30-minute call to design your workflows.
Andrew sits down with you, maps your workflow, and designs a system around your specific tools, processes, and priorities. We don't install software and wish you luck. We configure every integration and automation to match how you actually run your company.
48 hours later, your AI is operational. You text it like you'd text an assistant. That's it.
OpenClaw is an open-source AI assistant framework that runs on your own hardware. It connects to your email, calendar, Slack, and messaging apps. It reads, writes, researches, and automates. It never sleeps, never forgets, and gets sharper the more you use it.
Zero. We handle 100% of the technical setup. You interact with it by texting, just like you would with a human assistant. If you can send a WhatsApp message, you can use this.
Read and draft emails across multiple accounts. Manage your calendar. Track every commitment and follow-up. Research companies, people, and markets. Draft content in your voice. Monitor Slack and messaging apps. Prep morning briefings. The list grows every week as we build new workflows for you.
Completely. The AI runs on a Mac Mini that you physically own. It sits in your office. Your data never leaves your building. We never have access to your messages, emails, or files.
Compare it to the alternatives. A full-time EA costs $150,000/year. A virtual assistant costs $36,000/year with constant turnover. And doing it yourself costs you 15+ hours a week of CEO time. At $500/hour, that's $390,000/year in lost leverage. Desk Theory pays for itself in under 2 weeks. And you own it forever.
If your AI isn't saving you 10+ hours in the first 30 days, email Andrew and you get $9,000 back. You keep the Mac Mini and the full setup. The only thing you're out is the cost of the hardware. That's how confident we are.
Andrew Lissimore, the founder. He's a CEO running multiple companies and uses this exact system every day. Your workflows are designed in a 1-on-1 session based on how you actually work, not some generic template. That's why we only take 5 clients per month.
Yes. Book a free 15-minute AI audit. Andrew will review your current workflow and show you exactly where you're losing time and what AI could handle for you. No pitch, no pressure. If it's a fit, great. If not, you'll still walk away with actionable insights. Book your free audit here.
Five. Andrew personally designs every system, so capacity is limited. We don't outsource the workflow design. That's the entire value. If we're full for this month, you'll be first in line for the next cohort.
The gap between AI-powered CEOs and everyone else grows wider every day. Get on the right side of it.
Currently accepting clients for March 2026. 3 of 5 spots remaining.